The Safe House - Expositions

On June 17, Luke Perry (people, it's my fantasy awards, just go with it) announced the nominees for the 2002 Amy Awards live from the Central Perk. Here are some of the reactions of the nominees:

Told he had been nominated for Best Character, Joey said, "How you doin'? Did I ever tell you about the time I backpacked through Europe?"

Upon hearing she had been nominated for Best Villain and Worst Storyline, Willow said, "I am very powerful. Perhaps it's not such a good idea to piss me off."

When she learned she had been nominated for Worst Couple, Worst Storyline and Worst Actor, Amy mumbled, "But, I whmn e Tawny." Thankfully I speak Amy Gardner, allow me to translate "But I won a Tony."

When Spike was told he was nominated for Best Television Character, Best Couple and Best Storyline, he said, "Well, clearly you think of me as a man, not a monster."

When Dawson found out that he had been nominated for Worst Actor and Worst Couple, while Pacey had been nominated for Best Character, he stomped his feet and said, "But it's my show. Mine. I'm the one with my name in the title. It's my creek."

When Teri heard she had been nominated for Worst Storyline, she said, "I totally forgot that I had died."

When Mark heard that he was nominated for Most Missed Character, he asked, "Do you people really want me to die again? Remember how long it took the last time?"

Thanks to all of you who sent in your nominations. Unfortunately, due to the volume of e-mail I received, I was unable to respond to each of you individually. Please know that all of your e-mails were read and were part of the final results.

As usual, I learned quite a bit. You hated Willow's addiction story line, but loved the Dark Willow results. You guys were pretty evenly divided about the Cordy and Angel's romance, Joey's love for Rachel, the death of Mark Greene, and Felicity's trippy time travel. All four were nominated for both best and worst story lines of the season, but none had enough votes to make the final cut.

Now remember in the Amy Awards, you picked the categories, you picked the nominees and now you'll pick the winners. Want proof that I had nothing to do with the nominations? I never would have chosen Milo Ventimiglia as Worst Actor (I love Jess). Or Dawn as Most Annoying Character (Ditto). And I certainly wouldn't have voted to resurrect Mark Greene. I mean we just got rid of him. But that's what makes television so great. We can all watch the same thing and have completely different reactions.

You have until Sunday, June 23 at 5 p.m. eastern time to vote for the 2002 Amy Awards. Winners will be announced on Monday, June 24. And, sorry, you can only vote once.

Here are the 2002 Amy Award nominees:

That Line Kicked Butt, aka the Best Quote of the Year
"Dozens of times, lots of different ways ... Every night I save you." Spike to Buffy on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"
"I wasn't thinking of you when you were here." Wesley to Lilah on "Angel"
"This is the longest day of my life." Jack on "24"
"Bubbles? Bubbles, Sharon? I'm the f****** prince of f****** darkness!" Ozzy to Sharon on "The Osbournes"
"Mom?" Sydney to the Man on "Alias"

I Want that Hour (or Half-hour) of My Life Back, aka Worst Episode of the Season
"Downtown Crossing" episode of "Dawson's Creek." This is the very special episode where Joey was mugged and sang a duet with her dying mugger
"Doublemeat Palace" episode of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." This is the episode where Buffy started working at the burger joint and had sex with Spike by the dumpster.
"Bygones," the series finale of "Ally McBeal"
"Posse Comitatus," the season finale of "The West Wing"
Pilot of "That 80's Show"

Episode Most Worthy of an Immediate Rewind, aka Best Episode of the Season
"Once More, With Feeling," the musical episode of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"
"Almost Thirty Years" the season finale of "Alias"
"Graduation" episode of "Felicity." This was the last episode before Felicity went back in time.
"The One Where Rachel Has a Baby" of "Friends"
"Billy" episode of "Angel." This is the episode where Wesley goes all Shining in the hotel.

This Couple Made Me Want to Claw My Own Eyes Out, aka Worst Television Couple
Amy and Josh on "The West Wing"
Susan and John on "ER"
Fred and Gunn on "Angel"
Joey and Dawson on "Dawson's Creek"
Brenda and Nate on "Six Feet Under"

Best Television Couple (note: this category includes couples that are and that should be together)
Donna and Josh on "The West Wing"
Sydney and Vaughn on "Alias"
Buffy and Spike on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"
Lorelai and Luke on "Gilmore Girls"
Chloe and Clark on "Smallville"

Best Baddie, aka Best Villain
Nina on "24"
Sloane on "Alias"
Dark Willow on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"
Holtz on "Angel"
Lex Luthor on "Smallville"

Call the Voodoo Doctor, I Want to Resurrect __________, aka Character that will be missed most
The Lone Gunmen on "The X-Files"
Tara on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"
The entire cast of "Once and Again"
Mark on "ER"
The entire cast of "Felicity"

Character You Wish Had Been Killed Off, aka Most Annoying Character
Amy on "The West Wing"
Dawn on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"
Tonya on "Real World: Chicago"
Phil on "Ed"
Wil on "The Amazing Race 2"

Most Deserving to Be Unemployed, aka Worst Actor
James Van der Beek, Dawson on "Dawson's Creek"
Rose McGowan, Paige on "Charmed"
Elisabeth Rohm, Serena on "Law & Order"
Mary Louise Parker, Amy on "The West Wing"
Milo Ventimiglia, Jess on "Gilmore Girls"

Worst Storyline of the Season
Willow's addiction to magic on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"
Ally discovers she has a daughter on "Ally McBeal"
The introduction of Amy/Josh's ongoing romance with Amy on "The West Wing"
Will and Grace decide to have a baby on "Will & Grace"
Teri develops amnesia on "24"

Best Storyline of the Season
Who is the Man?/She is the Mom on "Alias" Rachel's pregnancy on "Friends"
The birth of Angel's son and his return on "Angel"
Spike and Buffy sordid relationship on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"
Karen's depression on "Once and Again"

Show You are Embarrassed to Admit You Watch, aka Best Guilty Pleasure
"Dawson's Creek"
"7th Heaven"
"The Bachelor"
"Real World"
"The Osbournes"

If I Had to Be Quarantined with One Television Character, I Would Pick, aka Best Television Character
Spike on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"
Pacey on "Dawson's Creek"
Lorelai on "Gilmore Girls"
Sydney on "Alias"
Joey on "Friends"

Winners will be announced on Monday, June 24.

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