February 11, 2003

On TV, sex is everywhere, but where's the romance?

by Gail Pennington

"The Bachelorette" is a new romance reality series which turns the tables on the traditional dating rituals by giving one woman, Trista Rehn, the chance to meet 25 handsome, successful men and ultimately choose the one who captures her heart. With Valentine's Day arriving Friday, it's a great time to think about chocolate.

Oops, no, sorry. What I meant was that it's a great time to think about romance. Specifically, romance - or the lack thereof - on television.

There's more sex on TV than ever. Just look at last week's Kaiser Family Foundation study that found sexual references in 71 percent of all shows on the Big Four broadcast networks. Fourteen percent of those shows (twice as many as four years ago) either showed or "strongly implied" sexual intercourse.

Those figures won't surprise many TV viewers. On last week's "ER," two different scenes showed lovers immediately post-coupling. On a recent "West Wing," normally sensible CJ (Allison Janney) hopped into bed for a quickie with an old pal, risking not just her virtue but also her hairdo just before an important speech. Earlier this season, in a scene shocking even for "NYPD Blue," Lt. Tony Rodriguez (Esai Morales) was sexually gratified by his ex-wife in his office.

The current reality-dating shows have turned up the sexual temperature a notch, too. Last week on "Joe Millionaire," two of the three women still competing for his mythical fortune apparently decided to road-test his other attributes in the bedroom (and this after the previous week's subtitled slurping and gulping during a tryst in the woods). "The Bachelorette," meanwhile, strongly implied that husband-seeking Trista Rehn passed the sexual-intimacy barrier with her two finalists. Quizzed by host Chris Harrison, she issued no denial.

For TV, apparently, sex is easy. But romance is hard.

We're supposed to find shows like "The Bachelorette" (and its flip side, "The Bachelor") romantic. All the trappings are there, dazzlingly cheesy: the champagne, the roses, the moonlight, the hot tub, the diamond ring. Oh, and the cameras.

But if it might have been possible, in the beginning, to see these prefab romances as modern-day fairy tales, the well-publicized aftermaths have popped that fantasy balloon.

"Bachelor" No. 1, Alex, who picked Amanda over Trista, breaking Trista's heart, didn't wind up with either, leaving Amanda feeling abandoned in Kansas. And now we learn that "Bachelor" No. 2, Aaron, quickly split with his chosen one, Helene, despite feeling so sincere about the relationship that he insisted on buying her engagement ring herself.

Ah, but that's another story - and the two will share it with the world in an ABC special on Feb. 20. (What, not on Valentine's Day?)

Scripted romances fare no better on TV. Creating a good one is such a problem that few writers even try anymore.

First, there's the elusive question of chemistry. As soap opera fans know, a "super couple" doesn't come around every day. Some pairs have jump-off-the-screen chemistry; others simply don't combust.

Then, there's the problem of pace. Get a couple together too quickly and the romance seems forced. Keep them apart too long, put too many obstacles in their path, and that gets tedious. Put them together forever and the show is really in trouble. If there's a true blow to TV romance, it's marriage.

Consider "Good Morning Miami," a show billed as a romantic comedy and built entirely on the will-they-or-won't-they relationship of its two lead characters, TV producer Jake (Mark Feuerstein) and hairdresser Dylan (Ashley Williams).

Adorable as she is, and nice guy that he seems to be, the pairing flopped. For one thing, instead of feeling spontaneous, it seemed forced. For another, the two actors have less chemistry than bagels and lox.

It's possible to get TV romance right, however.

The hottest current coupling is found on ABC's "Alias" (8 p.m. Sundays on Channel 30), where Sydney (Jennifer Garner) and forbidden- love Vaughn (Michael Vartan) recently shared an epic kiss as music soared and the camera swirled around them in a scene straight out of a 1940s movie.

Unfortunately, because of the whole CIA-double agent thing, and the fact that Vaughn is Sydney's boss, and the fact that everybody in the world is out to get them, they can never be together, at least not in public. How hot is that? It's a perfect solution to the TV-romance dilemma, and also calculated to keep Internet fan-fiction sites very, very busy.

But the show that gets romance (and just about everything else) right is "Gilmore Girls" (7 tonight on Channel 11).

In two-plus seasons, "GG" has managed the astonishing feat of creating a teen-age super couple (Rory and Dean) that viewers of all ages could care about, breaking them believably up, and then pairing Rory (Alexis Bledel) successfully again, this time with anti-hero Jess (Milo Ventimiglia, who'll star in a spinoff next fall). And here's the stunner - Rory remains (as creator Amy Sherman-Palladino puts it) "an unplucked flower." When she and Dean fell asleep together one night, she was shocked (shocked!) that anyone would even suggest that she'd been up to no good.

There's an even bigger romance lurking, however, and this one involves post-adolescents Lorelai (Lauren Graham) and Luke (Scott Patterson). Clearly, these two are meant for each other, but Sherman- Palladino knows a thing or two about TV couplings, so they won't be getting together anytime soon.

That's tough, she admits. "I have to keep finding people for each of them and make those relationships believable even though I know they can't last," she says.

So when will Lorelai and Luke finally connect? Sherman-Palladino isn't sure, but she knows it will happen during a sweeps month. Conveniently, Valentine's Day falls right in the middle of February sweeps.

© St. Louis Post-Dispatch 2003

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