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Jane
May 2005
The Five Really Key Questions: Michael Vartan
Thanks to Diana for the transcript! Thanks to Carol for the scans!
"All right, fancy writer, stop showing off," says Michael Vartan when
I use the word apoplectic to characterize the way he feels about low-rise pants.
But I had to -- I wasn't going to blow my audience with this half-French, fully Frenchable 36-year-old blond talent with run-of-the-mill flirting. It is cliche to swoon in this matter, but Monsieur Vartan is the only reason I turn on the TV (for Alias, which he co-stars on with ex Jennifer Garner), one of the primary criteria for my
Netflix queue (Never Been Kissed) and my impetus for paying $10 to
see Monster-in-Law this month. You too will fancy him upon hearing
that he considers typical Hollywood actresses "too skinny" and has a
13-month-old pup named Millie. -- Katy
Are you repressing any urges?
Well, the hockey season was officially canceled. Being the fan that I
am, I'm repressing an urge that could cause severe bodily damage to
my person.
What's the worst you've ever screwed someone over?
I used to down entire bottles of compressed whipped cream and blame
it on my cousin. He would get in trouble and I would get fat. But
that's not screwing someone over, that's just being a kid. Sorry. I
wish I were more dangerous.
Who's on your "celebs to make out with" list right now?
Grace Kelly. She was possibly the most beautiful creature that has
ever roamed the earth.
Have you ever faked an orgasm?
Why would I? As a general rule of thumb, I only have sex with people
I'm attracted to. Therefore, the orgasm part is a natural termination
of the coupling. If you have to fake it, maybe you shouldn't be in
bed with that person in the first place.
What style trend would you rather die than be caught following?
Those hip-hugger pants that have flooded the market. Can't stand
those things. What am I, a 12-year-old girl? A guy cannot get regular
pants now that fit around his waist. So I usually end up shopping for
jeans at Millers Outpost, because they're the only ones that seem to
make pants for men anymore. I don't want to have to starve myself for
three weeks to fit into them, okay?
© Fairchild Publications, Inc. 2005
 Back To Exclusively Michael 2005
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