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The Fashion Assassin
Target: Cipher
This episode brought to you by: Lubriderm
Because Sydney is going to have to bathe in it for about a week after
subjecting her skin to the harsh Siberian ... fake snow.
On top of the wig count, I'm thinking I need to add a tank-top count.
I
must amend my earlier estimation and say that Sydney has more tanks
than the U.S. and Israeli armies.
French braids are very flattering to Jennifer. I'm gonna pretend the
hairstyle was in honor of Vaughn.
Francie has the biggest necklaces. Her jewelry box must be freaking
HUGE.
You know, I was wondering what Molly Ringwald had been up to.
That
is some seriously fluffy red hair Syd's got going on there. I mean,
it's
cute. But really, really fluffy. Like big auburn cotton candy.
Sark, you know you're hot, right? But Fashion Assassin is not down
with
wearing dark shirts with light suits. I guess he's a fashion
renegade, too.
Uh-oh! Po the red Teletubby* has gone on a major diet! And traded in
her
scooter for a luge.
OK, did Syd staple that wig to her head? Did the heat from the
rocket explosion fuse it to her scalp? She just ripped the jumpsuit
cowl
off without disturbing the fluffy wig (which of course was just as
fluffy
afterward). No hat-hair for Syd!
You can tell Sloane's in mourning. The stripes on his shirt have
gotten wider.
Even when in Siberia, the top-notch espionage agent can't ignore
style for
such sensible precautions as protecting one's skin from the biting
wind and
snow. Frostbite is just the price one has to pay for looking cute.
Although
the fur trim is more scary than cute. I think that the coat maker may
have
scalped Tina Turner during the "What's Love Got to Do With It?"
video. Or
possibly Animal from the Muppets.
Poor Dixon is hardly ever on, and when he is, he's camouflaged!
Hmm, Syd's in white, Sark's in black. No symbolism there.
Wig count: 0 blonde, 0 brunette, 1 redhead.
--By Souris, Vartan Ho #4
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