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The Fashion Assassin
Target: Dead Drop
This episode brought to you by: Peppermint Patty.
Sydney gets the cool sensation of plunging into an icy Siberian
lake.
Sydney of course is none the worse for wear after her little
polar-bear plunge. C'mon, after Scully got back from Antarctica in
the "X-Files" movie, they at least gave her a little freezer burn on
her cheeks!
For some reason, I just don't get quite as excited about Sydney
wearing a leather jacket as I do when Vaughn does. Funny, that.
Not only does Jennifer do her own stunts, so does her hair! It's
doing some serious swishing when she marches into the ...
windowless official government place that is not CIA
headquarters. Frankly, it deserves an "also starring" credit after
that performance. I think it could take Dr. Rapunzel's hair in a
Celebrity Tresses Deathmatch, easy.
Does Francie ever wear any color that is not pink or red? I mean,
they're flattering and all, but branch out, girlfriend!
Is it just me, or does Eloise Kurtz 2.0 look vaguely like a cutesy
'80s hiphop version of Jenny? (I don't think real hiphop chicks
wear jeweled heart barrettes.)
I also don't think that most female Russian majors wear skirts
slit up to their bikini line. I realize it makes fighting easier, but
come on. As for the wig, that's the worst cropped 'do since
Rosie.
Thanks to DizzyMissLiz on the Television Without Pity Alias
forum, I can't look at Sark in his military garb without thinking of
Rolf, the Liesl-courting Nazi youth from "The Sound of Music." It's
so sad, but Bwahaha! I keep expecting him to pull out a
whistle.
OK, what's the headgear in Madagascar for? They're not for light,
because Syd and Vaughn are carrying flashlights. If they're
night-vision goggles, then why aren't there two lenses? And for
that matter, why aren't they using them? But, frankly, I don't care
WHAT they're for, you just don't cover up any portion of MV's face,
ever. Do you hear me? EVER!
Hey, what's Avril Lavigne doing on a CIA mission? No, wait, it's
just Sydney without headgear.
Wig count: 0 blonde, 1 brunette, 0 redhead.
--By Souris, Vartan Ho #4
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