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The Fashion Assassin
Target: Double Agent
This episode brought to you by: Doublemint gum, Xerox and Memorex
Because ... how could it not be?
I really like Emma's gray robe. It's classic, yet sleek and sexy. Of
course, I don't know that it's special enough to be the last thing I'd want
to wear ever.
Sloane may be a master manipulator in the spy world, but when it comes to
the fashion world, the man needs a rescue mission. The white suit? Ugh.
Where's his mint julep?
Oh, Syd's in a bikini. Shocker. Somehow, you just know she never
packs a one-piece on a mission. I like the color (what material there
is to determine the color, of course) -- Go Heels! Forget the
hand-to-hand combat and gunplay; the high-heeled Shoes of Poolside Death
are her most dangerous obstacle.
I think the ends of Syd's blonde wig may have gotten caught in a blender at
some point. But with the government budget cuts, whatcha gonna do? Wonder
of wonders, her beige pantsuit is actually practical for
ass-kicking.
C'mon, there are a lot of logical problems I have to swallow for this show,
but why does Syd never have unattractive wig-hair? This time, she put a wig
on WET hair, and it's just sleek and lovely as ever after taking off the
wig.
What Vaughn does for a black sweater over a white T-shirt should be
illegal. Or, at the very least, strictly controlled. Because, HOLY HELL!
That man is HOT. I swear, I don't think he has ever looked more attractive
than he does standing in the doorway on the plane. And that, my friends, is
saying something. We need to see Casual!Vaughn more often. Though I think
this ep definitely sets a record in that regard.
Frankly, toboggans just aren't attractive on anyone. And if Jennifer Garner
and Ethan Hawke can't quite pull the look off, then I think that's a lesson
for the rest of us.
Rolled-up dress shirt-sleeves on men are sexy. (Or maybe it's just because
the sleeves in question are on MV's arms.)
OK, Syd, I know that Vaughn loves you enough to ask you out when you're
wearing a purple troll wig, so it probably doesn't matter that much to him
what you wear. But for God's sake, woman, at least make an effort! You've
got a romantic dinner-in date with Michael Vaughn, and you wear an
old floral Holly Hobby-esque shirt you got out of a grab-bag at the Junior
League rummage sale? Over a tank top? Oh, yeah, that screams, "You're
important, I've been waiting for you for a long time, I went to some
trouble with my appearance, I want tonight to be special." I dress up more
when the cable guy is coming over! Where's the clinging sweater? The
lingerie? The fluffy hair? I swear, sometimes I think that girl just ain't
right. It's one thing to not want to wear her provocative "work" clothes,
but if he had wanted frumpy, he would've stayed with Alice.
Well, I see that Evil!Francie finally succumbed to the red section of her
new closet. She's already worn the non-red shirt.
Wig count: 1 blonde, 0 brunette, 0 redhead
--By Souris, Vartan Ho #4
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