The Safe House - Rambaldi's Studio

It's Sunday night, I am curled up in my den
The TV's light acts like oxygen
I keep it in as best I can
I know I'm just another fan
But I can't help feeling I could love this CIA agent man
And I can't

Deny anymore that I'm in a trance here
I got it bad for Michael Vartan
Michael Vartan, oh why won't you handle me?
Why won't you handle me?

Non-Hos all tell me,
"Girl, you know it's just a show."
But his forehead wrinkles
Just make my adoration grow
Waiting on the phone for a sign
Joey's Pizza is on my mind
I'm on the edge for his call
So I can be held in thrall
To the voice of

Michael Vartan, waiting to see me
In the shadowy light of the warehouse of love, I want
Michael Vartan to counsel and bandage me
Bilingual sports nut, holstered and manly
Michael Vartan, oh why won't you handle me?
Why won't you handle me?
Why won't you handle me?

So fine and so cute
In or out of his suit
And I'm in pursuit
Of the cleft in his chin
And that bedimpled grin
You can say it's a sin
Tell that to the Vatican

My tails are lost, I am ready for my meet
Gonna float an idea for an undercover op for us in Crete
I am smitten to the core
Wishing he would disarm my C-4
I need to hear the French of the man, the spy, mon cher amour
And I would say

Michael Vartan, why won't you handle me?
Why won't you handle me? Why won't you handle me?
Michael Vartan, why won't you handle me?
Why won't you handle me? Why won't you handle me?
Michael Vartan, I want you to handle me
To kiss and to feel me, debrief and conceal me
Michael Vartan, I know you could handle me
I'm disguised and I'm feisty -- I wanna be Sydney!
Michael Vartan, why won't you handle me?
Why won't you handle me? Why won't you handle me?

I'll be waiting
In the bloodmobile

-- by Souris, Vartan Ho #4

If you're unfamiliar with the original song "David Duchovny," drop by these sites to listen to or download it:

Rohan's X-Files Realm
DuchovnyNet

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